Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
