where am i from again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize