i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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