I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
