You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
