You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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