garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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