I wish I could teleport
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
