so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
