hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
