Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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