that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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