You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're my little dorito
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize