I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize