I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
