I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize