Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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