Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My liver just broke up with me...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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