Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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