I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
