i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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