I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
