And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
