her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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