i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think i have herpe
just one?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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