DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
