South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
