her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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