Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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