I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I forget how to act sober
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize