i think my mom watched the whole time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
