ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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