doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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