he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize