Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
