There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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