Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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