What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize