I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
