"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
