But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
