Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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