fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
