Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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