i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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