If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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