Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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