This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
