Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
