your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
