y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
