well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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