i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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