I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
