I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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