I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
