I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You're earring is so big in my mouth
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
