Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
