he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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