I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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