I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
