his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
